In magazine moods
you can read and understand everything.
It is illuminating, I enjoy saying that word so much and it makes me think of Lee in Secretary.
So,
I’ll sing myself to sleep with these five syllables and wish you would leave me a tape on my dining room table for when I am in moods such as these.
Record on both sides with a complete breakdown of everything you think, in general, up to this very point in time.
It should be so to the point that it will be at once frustrating and painful to press stop and “deliver the goods” to my wooden table.
Oh dear…
I am feeling capable of clarity and that translates to me having another shot at contemplating what is going ON.
So,
we weren’t on a desert island, starved of choice.
There wasn’t to be any primitive lust manifesting itself as we sat on the couch and surely if such explosions were to take place, hindsight would reveal that it tasted exactly the same as everything that ever come before it, how empty. To be avoided.
But!
Our habitat was plush and conversations got built. Oh!
They were mighty and tough and they grew and we climbed them in an evening.
IT WAS PLAIN WONDERFUL.
In the past you would have pretended certain discussions were like a running tap and we SHOULDN’T WASTE WATER!
TURN IT OFF! You’d say.
It would leave me to make do with washing our wounds in some tepid muck.
I know that my magazine mood could be far better spent reading a newspaper. It pays to be well informed!
But!
I won’t be pretending that I don’t murmur about us to myself, please don’t either.
This wound isn’t attached to you or me, but we are standing and watching it,
The Weeping, Gaping Wound. The imagery is a poor choice I know, but we aren’t dressing it and would we exist if we did?
We spray beauteous perfume in its general direction and then we snatch at each others lips and pretend our tongues don’t grow longer from reaching and we pinch each other skin closer.
Then,
we let go and are a little baggier than before and we exercise distance and it is instantly strange.
But WE have willed it so.
2 comments:
If blogger had a 'like' option like facebook did, i'd be uatlising it at this moment.
Aw, Thanks Erise. I am fond of this one too!
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